Grasping for Straws?

One billion plastic, petroleum-based, non-biodegradable straws are used every day worldwide. In the US alone, over 500 million plastic straws are used every day and most of those end up in the oceans, polluting the water and killing marine life. An estimated 71% of seabirds and 30% of turtles have been found with plastics in their stomachs. When they ingest plastic, marine life has a 50% mortality rate.  If we don’t act now, by the year 2050 there will be more plastic in the ocean than fish. What would our oceans be without marine life?

I was meaning to get my first set of metal straws, as it meant one less plastic straw polluting the environment, when a friend shared a post on bamboo straws. The straws are made from real whole bamboo stalks – nothing re-compressed or processed. It meant no inks, no dyes, no chemicals and it still meant no more throw-away plastic straws... Why the heck not! It's a natural alternative to disposable plastic straws. Didn't have to think twice about it and sent in my orders.

Kaway Bamboo Straws

KAWAY Bamboo Drinking Straws are manufactured by the residents of Sapang Kawayan, Norzagaray, Bulacan in the Philippines (my Dad's hometown, although I've never been!) These reusable bamboo straws are sold in sets of 12, packaged in a pouch made of telang katsa. Kaway Bamboo straws are made from 100% certified organic bamboo. No chemicals have been used in the manufacture of these bamboo straws. They are durable, reusable, biodegradable and cut from nature. These bamboo drinking straws are a fun and eco-friendly alternative to plastic that can be used with any beverage.

No straw please!

One drinking straw can be used for 30 days. They are washable and reusable. All you need to do is rinse them out under the tap after every use or shake in a jar of warm soapy water. Every month or so, you can boil a pot of vinegar water mix and soak the straws for a few minutes or clean with a pipe cleaner.

Plastic straw-free drink

 These bamboo straws are also ideal as corporate giveaways, wedding souvenirs, gift packs, and many other important events. With every purchase of Kaway Bamboo Straw, you are providing livelihood opportunities to the mothers and other residents of Sapang Kawayan, Norzagaray, Bulacan.

One bamboo straw means one less plastic straw polluting the environment! Who will take that little step with me to help the environment?

Bring your own bamboo straw today and let's help save Mother Earth... one straw at a time!

Jeans: Maintaining A Level of Professionalism Yet Cozy

Cropped white denim paired with gold ballet flats

Not so long ago, jeans were a major no-go in the workplace. Fortunately these days, the line between casual and professional is getting blurrier by the day, and even denim is no longer off-limits. However, there is a catch. In most cases you are still expected to look like the face of professionalism despite the casual allure of denim. The secret to it is getting it styled right.

Whenever I wear jeans to the office (the darker the wash, the better for the office), I go for the unfussy with just a few thoughtful, quirky details. I include a polished third piece like a sleek blazer or a kimono, as it makes the outfit feel more professional. A tucked-in blouse, accessorized with pearls or a slight flash of gold jewelry completes the equation. That makes this straightforward getup feel special while still keeping it professional.


A blazer is always the best way to get away with wearing something not-so-work-appropriate to the office.

Dark boyfriend jeans paired with a sleek blazer and pink ballet flats for a pop of color

 But if the weather gets colder, try wearing a knitted poncho or cardigans with your jeans. Not only does it make you feel a little more cozy and casual in the office, but it also looks great while still maintaining a level of professionalism.

Dark blue boyfriend jeans topped with white knitted poncho

The brilliance of this outfit is that it looks pretty and grown-up. It's a low-effort, high-impact approach!


A darker rinse jean is considered to be the standard for a more professional denim look. Denim with a lighter wash, whiskers, etc. is considered to carry a more casual tone that might not be suitable for all offices. Choose a darker blue and black hues for a more professional look.  Pull it all together with a great kimono, it adds a pop of color to your outfit and you will soon see floral pieces aplenty around the office.

Cropped white denims with green paisley print kimono

Basic jeans topped with red floral kimono

All black ensemble topped with a floral kimono to add a touch of color

Boardrooms, presentations, and great work do not have to remain well removed from the space where you wear denim. Denims for work should not only be reserved for casual Fridays. More and more offices, however, are embracing the spirit of permitting their employees to wear jeans to work almost every day. Executive women, rejoice!

Soothe Stress, Bake Yourself Happy

When you are stressed , food is not necessarily the answer. Well, not eating it anyway. There's something about baking that I'm finding quite nourishing these days. It's quite a stress-reducing activity. I found baking had a calming effect on me without knowing that was what it was doing. I love chocolate chip cookies, anything with chocolate will do, really! But a traditional favorite comfort cookie loaded with semi-sweet chocolate chips, will take you to a whole new level! These chocolate chip cookies are great...you get a double dose of chocolate. Baking chocolate chip cookies is relaxing for several reasons.

First, there is the aromatherapy: Anytime you combine ingredients such as vanilla extract, cinnamon, chocolate and butter, spread them out on a cookie sheet and insert them into a hot oven, your house filled with a sweet scent that reminds you of childhood, Christmas and other pleasantly nostalgic associations. Second, baking keeps your hands busy, making it nearly impossible to multitask. With your fingers covered in gooey dough, checking your messages is pretty much out of the question. When you are up to your elbows in batter and chocolate, you are more likely inclined to miss phone calls. What's more, although baking doesn't require a huge amount of mental effort, it is very good for focusing the mind because it often relies on very exact measurements, consulting of recipes and coordinating of various mechanical tasks (attaching the proper blade to the mixer, setting up a double boiler to melt some chocolate) require just enough thought to keep you from dwelling too heavily on non-baking concerns. Having complete focus on a recipe and not allowing yourself to be distracted by your thoughts can have a therapeutic affect. It's nice to know that something as simple as baking chocolate chip cookies has such a positive effect on our emotions.

Another reason baking makes me feel good is because I can make things for someone else. It's not just the physical process of baking that can soothe the mind but also the rewards I get when baking for others. It's the selfless nature of spending time creating something for another person that can really affect us in a positive way. We often bake for people as an expression of love, whether to cheer them up, celebrate an occasion or 'just because' and because of this baking takes on a more important meaning than just creating deliciousness - it becomes a means of communicating.

All in all, baking is very therapeutic for me. Sometimes just baking for a loved one for no reason at all is enough to make you feel better, because you're taking care of them. The end result is usually delicious, and sometimes smiles back if I want it to. There is nothing better to lift the spirits than getting complimented on something you have spent your time creating for someone else to enjoy. So, next time you're feeling down, pick up that rolling pin and bake us something gooey and delicious, after all, in many countries, making and giving food is an expression of love. Come on, you know you want to!

Gorgeous at 30, Charming at 40, Irresistible for The Rest of my Life.

A message in my inbox surprised me. A friend, younger than I am said I am making singleness seem flawless and wishes I could write about it. I am smiling as I write this... I certainly had never expected to be single in my 40s. Still, I find myself remarkably happy most of the time. There are moments, of course, of frustration and grief over not having love, marriage and children. But I have come to realize that I’m happy despite the fact that my life did not turn out as expected. When I was younger, I always thought I’d be washed up and lonely if I didn’t marry at 40. That’s what a lot of people told me as I turned 30, and then 35, and then 40. But honestly, being single at this age is a game changer. I never met the right person, so I never settled. It’s not a priority for me anymore. Instead, I worked hard getting the other parts of my life right and I’m so happy I did.

“Never married” means you must have some neurotic trait that makes you impossible to live with and love. Families think you’re too picky, friends say your too career-focused and dates assume you’re high maintenance. It’s sad that having a marriage under your belt is considered a sign you’re not damaged goods. I don’t want 20-somethings today to feel that stigma at 40. As women, we finally can enjoy choices previous generations fought for. Getting married isn’t a forgone conclusion or a result of a pregnancy test. For my mothers’ generation, it was just expected that you marry and have kids. If you weren’t happy with that, then there was something wrong with you. Today we know in theory at least, that marriage and baby is not an automatic “pass go” to happiness.

I don’t dismiss the powerful effect that societal messages about “wedded bliss” have on young women. However, I think some of the judgment is in our own heads. It’s another case of thinking other people are spending way more time thinking about you than they do. Yes, we are fascinated by the Cinderella stories (and their break-down) but that doesn’t apply to real life where we are caught up in our own issues.

Being single in your 40s can be very fulfilling. It’s like being single in your 20s with less stress. By 40 you likely have more disposable income than at 20 and less responsibility than a couple. Once you get past the judgment, there’s a lot of freedom. I can’t remember the last time I felt lonely. Sure, I’ve had weekends where I was home alone baking, sleeping, or reading, when it felt like everyone else was at the beach. And I’ve been in a room full of people, feeling like I just want to be home, by myself. But lonely, truly lonely? I haven’t felt that in a long time. That’s because, as the saying goes, wherever I go, there I am. And I’ve got a full, rich life, one I’ve created for myself. It is by no means the life I expected to have at age 43, but it’s an abundant life in its own magnificent way. It’s a new kind of happiness I’m quite proud to have achieved and call my own.

I have the unconditional love of my mom, a sister, sister-in-law, a niece I am besotted by. My friends are there for me in the worst of times and the best of times and more importantly, in all the times in between. I’ve learned in my forties that being single is rarely lonely when you’ve cultivated strong relationships with others. My friends are indeed the family I choose.

In my 20s, I never imagined I wouldn’t be a mother in my 40s. In my 30s, or at least until my late 30s, I never imagined I would be single in my 40s. But here I am, single and childless in my mid-40s. And while I would be so grateful to find a for-the-rest-of-my-life kind of love (and with God’s help, motherhood), I’m right here and right now, single and in my forties. I choose to accept and appreciate my extraordinary life, and continue to live my life to its greatest potential.

Love is still ahead of me and I won’t settle for anything less. And if I’m lucky, neither will he.

Because It's Summer

 
Living in a country with tropical climate and abundance of water sports, makes it very easy to indulge in the beach and explore nature through a tiny fisherman’s boat. Thus, a plan to drift off to sea for a very much need R&R was hatched.

Island hopping is liberating. You will lose all your inhibitions, your sea & motion sickness, tension, stress, and fear of the water. However, me being me, morbid thoughts came rushing in. Thoughts like "Is this banca strong enough?" or "Will I reach my destination in one piece and alive?" or "What if this banca suddenly capsizes?" You can't blame me for thinking these thoughts, going up and down the banca alone was already life threatening for me.

The banca, also known as a "pumpboat", has 2 large outriggers usually made of bamboo to give it the necessary stability. As each banca has its own personality, so has the journey. There is something so raw, exciting, and at the same time exhilarating about sitting in a wooden, rugged boat where you can see the fish swimming, your face gettng wet from the splashes of the tides, and the open view of the sea that makes your horizon like blue infinity.

However nice and fun the experience was, I realized that day that I am not made for the outdoors, much more the sea. A nice piece of stable land for me, please. Thank you!

Bocas: Like Dying and Going to Pastry Heaven

The last week was one whole week of pigging out with so many reunions happening over the holidays. My reunion with some friends was made sweeter at Bocas Modern Patisserie. We were very fortunate to try out French pastries at a patisserie shop owned by a French chef. I discovered Bocas in Instagram when one of the people I followed posted a mouth watering cake. Of course who would not want to know which place that cake was from when it’s very instagrammable?

What I love about Bocas is they go with everything unusual, something that the Cebuanos haven’t tried before. It is the newest slice of heaven in town. The interior design of the shop is great, evoking a predominantly industrial-like vibe (although the place is quiet small), providing a charming set-up. The ambiance gave me a feeling like I was in a different country. The designs are very nice, picturesque, featuring its own intricate details. Basically, their concept is classic French pastry presented in stylish and contemporary forms, using modern techniques and textures, showcased in a modern looking chiller.

It is an intimate shop where folks can enjoy their dessert choices while pairing it with a selection of coffee, tea, homemade soda and sparkling wine, to name a few. The place is a good dating spot for couples looking for a bit of privacy and coziness. The place is also perfect for a little "me time" while having dessert and coffee (be sure to bring a good book with you). It felt like France came to Cebu.

After tasting their desserts, my view of desserts changed. I took my first bite and it felt like I died and went to dessert heaven. It just melted in my mouth and had just the right touch of sweetness. They don't taste like the cakes and pastries we can readily buy in most shops. They're almost beyond what I tasted before, a fusion of the classic and contemporary. Dessert fanatics can expect classic French pastries with a twist as it is uniquely presented in a modern and stylish fashion. You will surely crave for their scrumptious desserts served French style.

Modern techniques and textures showcased in a modern looking chiller.

Strawberry Cheesecake

Chocolate Genoise, Coconut Mousse, Caramel Mousse

Chou Chantilly

Croquantine Chocolate Biscuit Chocolate Cream Mousse & Glaze

Eclair, French Vanilla Cream Fondant

Malagos Cacao

Yule Log

There's nothing like a touch of sweetness in one’s life for an added dose of flavor. At Bocas Modern Patisserie, desserts aren’t just the cherry on top of one’s day, but rather it is the highlight.

A Perfect Sunday Lunch

I enjoy food, there's no doubt about that! I am also quick to compliment anybody,  relative or friend, who can cook and whip up an excellent, mean dish. I don't claim to be a good cook myself and even admit that I am only a mediocre cook, but an expert "eater."

I, however, come from a family who are experts at cooking. My family loves Caldereta. It is a dish that has been adapted from the Spanish during their Philippine occupancy from 1521 to 1898 and us Filipino’s did not waste any of our time making our own version. Caldereta is goat meat stewed with vegetables that may include tomatoes, potatoes, olives, bell peppers and hot peppers. As special at it may seem, preparing something like this takes some time, for the meat to tenderize, and patience. But it is all worth the wait.

Preparing this Filipino goat meat stew does not need to be so complicated. Before you know it, this will be your favorite dish to prepare.

You will need:

2 tbsps  Cooking Oil (for sauteing)
2 tbsps  Garlic (crushed)
1/4 cup  Onion (sliced)
500 grams Goat Meat (preferably short ribs, cut up)
2 cups Water   
3/4 cup  Potato (cut into chunks)
3/4 cup Carrots (cut into chunks)
3/4 cup Saba (cut into chunks)
1 pc Laurel leaf
1/2 tsps Salt   
1/4 tsp Black Pepper   
1 pc Siling Labuyo (sliced, optional)
1/2 cup Green Peas (cooked or frozen)
1/4 cup Red Bell Pepper    (cut into strips)
1/4 cup Green Bell Pepper (cut into strips)
1 pouch (200 grams) Tomato Sauce

The secret in preparing a good Caldereta is all in the meat. Using high quality meat can make or break the outcome of your dish. Since goat meat is not readily available in the market, beef can be used as an alternative and you can make "Bakareta" instead.

The trick in cooking Caldereta is browning the meat and making use of the part that caramelizes at the bottom of the pot to enhance the flavor of the broth. This will leave you with a broth that's richly flavored, providing a great taste to your Caldereta. Immediately add cooking oil after the meat is removed. Saute garlic and onions. Add water and bring to a boil. Simmer for 2-3 hours or until meat is tender.

Add Tomato Sauce, potato, carrots, laurel leaf, salt and pepper. Bring to a boil and turn down heat to simmer. Cook for 10 minutes. Add green peas, saba and bell peppers. Bring to a boil then simmer for 15 minutes or until vegetables are tender. Serve hot over a HUGE bed of rice. The fact that Caldereta tastes way better when reheated the next day, makes it a great and time saving party alternative.

I would love to put more words for this dish but Caldereta is now being served at the dining table. The tantalizing aroma is calling out to me “come and indulge!” What the heck! It is the weekend, after all!

Right, off I go now... but before that let me remind you to put some extra cups of rice in the rice cooker. Happy eating!

Getting the Japanese Vibe with Summer Kimonos

I love kimonos, no, I’m pretty crazy about kimonos! They're so relaxed but still dressed up and you can pretty much wear them year round... from my part of the world though, I can! Although I cannot shake the urge to compare it with a cape and the superpowers a Kimono might hold.

Just think about it! What if you'd turn into a superhero when wearing one. A superhero in a Kimono who can wear pink hair in 20-inch stilettos, ride motorcycles through the desert without an inch of hair getting out of place, sing better than Beyonce. Not such a bad idea, isn't it? All these may be too stretched from reality, but hey, give the Kimono a try. It is after all pretty versatile and fabulous, a hidden superpower may not be such a far cry from the truth.

The kimono is an iconic Japanese garment that was worn for thousands of years. It literally means a thing to wear (ki- “wear” and -mono “thing”). But recently, Kimonos have become everyone's favorite current "trend." I use that term lightly because kimonos are a timeless and classic summer staple. Summer kimonos come in a million different styles: long, short, midi, with prints, with fringes, silky, oversized. Kimonos are an excellent way to brighten up any outfit. It’s incredibly feminine, very sexy, it’s boho chic, it’s Alexa Chung meets Vanessa Hudgens cool and it always adds just the right amount of oomph to any look. One can wear this over anything, even over a posh skirt or jeans. They do look most fabulous over a pair of shorts, mini skirts or short dresses, tank tops, bustier tops, over swimsuits, and just about over anything you’d actually wear on a hot summer day or night. Wear it as a silky jacket or as a sexy, sophisticated cover up. Or wear it at home over your grungiest pair of shorts or PJs, and you’ll still end up looking fab while having coffee. Wear it for the jazz of it, not because you’re cold or you’d look better in it, but because it adds a bit of color and sophistication to an otherwise boring outfit. If you chuck something big and gaudy over the top, it tricks people into believing you’ve made an effort.

How to wear a summer kimono? Just throw one on. It can be bohemian, gypsy knock out beauty, western cool, effortless sexy housewife , feminine, grungy, posh boho – incredibly trendy! Whichever way you choose to wear it there is no denying the kimono is the perfectly practical and endlessly versatile summer staple.

What do you think? Oh and did I tell you I get my kimonos from GAMÂ Handcrafts, an arts & crafts store in Cebu City, Philippines.

Breakfast Heaven: Chewy, Crispy, Gooey, Reddish, Sticky Mess!

I was craving for big, fat, stubby chorizo last week --- another one on my food memories, one that's sure to last me a lifetime (what is it with food that brings back so many good memories of childhood?). My Mama Lily used to make the best chorizos, I kid you not! I haven’t tasted any other chorizo in the world close to the ones she used to make.

Her chorizo are stubby links of sausages that's sweet and has just a wee bit of spice into it. She used lots of garlic and paprika giving it a bit of the spicy kick.

Basic chorizo recipe (although this does not give justice to the kind Mama Lily made):

You will need:

    1 kg ground pork
    1 1/2 tsp iodized salt
    1 1/2 tsp vinegar
    2 tsp bread crumbs
    1 1/2 tsp ground black pepper
    2 tsp all purpose seasoning (eg Knorr Aromat)
    2 tsp paprika
    3 tsp garlic, minced
    250 g (0.55 lb) brown sugar
    sausage wrapper (optional)

    Prepare the sausage wrapper. If you’re going to use sausage casing, prepare it by soaking it in cold water for about 30 minutes for it to soften. After which, you have to run water through it to remove excess salt. Don’t forget to check for leaks. On the other hand, if you don’t want to use a sausage wrapper, you can also roll the chorizo into balls.
   
    Season ground meat with salt, pepper, all-purpose seasoning,paprika and brown sugar. Add minced garlic and vinegar. Mix well.

    Stuff your casing or wrapper with your meat mixture. Form links as desired.
  

These "native" chorizos have a different way of cooking and eating. Place the chubby, stubby links in a pan and pour enough water to come about halfway up the sides of the links.  Simmer over medium-to-high heat, turning the sausages until all the water evaporates, about 5 to 10 minutes, and keep an eye on “air pockets”, which you will need to prick with a toothpick to release the air. Beware of the fat that shoots out of those pockets, though.

Add oil and fry until golden brown. Serve the chorizo over steaming hot rice and toss it around to allow the caramelized-casing-goodness of the chorizo marry with the rice.

So, after days of searching for the perfect "native" chorizo, I finally found the kind I was craving for (similar, but not quite like Mama Lily's, but close enough) at the local grocery. It was breakfast for dinner once again! Steaming hot rice, eggs sunny-side-up. Chubby, stubby sausages charred to a crisp.



 
The result? Chewy, crispy, gooey, reddish, sticky mess! Yum! Dinner was what I called a chorizo style breakfast heaven!

Lunch break at work today and I have no idea what to eat for lunch. So I asked myself what the best thing I ever ate was? It seemed easy enough, until I realized I have no ready answer. I closed my eyes and reached far back into my memories, willing something — anything — to rise to the surface. I made a deal with myself, the first one I remember most probably is the best, or at the very least, one of the best.

All of a sudden, I am a kid again, finding myself stepping into Ta Eve's kitchen, being nourished with a meal cooked with lots of love.... pochero!!! Oh. Sweet. Heaven. It was always perfect. It was chunks of beef shanks — bone marrow in, fat, meat, litid (tendon) gently boiled for hours until the meat is so tender it just falls off the bone if you so much as nudge it with your fork. It sits serenely, in individual soup bowls, like a king in clear broth so tasty (and somewhat greasy), needing little else than plain white rice (admittedly and decadently, heaps of it.)

Ta Eve's pochero would make you want to save every bit of your appetite to savor every last bite of it. It is sublime and simple, the way this dish has been made. There is no great manner upon which it must be enjoyed to the hilt either; in fact, it seems all so natural and ordinary. The basic rules of enjoying good soup apply — you sip the broth steaming hot just right. You “ooh” and “aah” and smile at the sheer pleasure of a good meal that is, in your heart blessing the cook and whoever came up with such perfection. Nothing like a comforting bowl of soup... this was a HOME RUN!

Then you reach that point when you know you must already start enjoying it with and on rice, so you spoon some more of the broth over the grains (adding a dash of Kikkoman), taking some meat that's just FALLING OFF the bone, pushing that beautiful, perfect spoonful past your lips and into your mouth. Simply put, the Ta Eve's pochero was like this bad boy every young girl is told to stay away from but can’t. 

It was, hands down, the best thing I ever ate. “Heartwarming” isn’t the first word that comes to mind when you talk about Ta Eve's pochero. However, a meal like this shared with family really is all that’s needed for a heartwarming meal.

To this day, we still do Pochero Sundays, however enjoying it with a less wanton than I used to. See, the reality is that I should not be mindlessly eating copious amounts of bone marrow and fat as often as I want to. These are special treats, to be had only once in a while. Only teenagers can afford to do that.

Thankfully the original recipe was handed down from generation to generation and we are still able to maintain the taste (and smell) that brings back a lot of wonderful memories. I am glad we are able to do that. Some things change, but really, some things are so good they just have to stay the same.

Me (The Doormat)... Not!

Just recently, a friend (supposedly) had everything in his life (work, family, love…) gone wrong (read: feeling like a two-by-four hitting him on the head). And since I'm a pretty good counselor, I tolerated him calling me at all hours in the night (and even when I'm at work), even me missing work just so he could vent out his anger and frustrations (translate: whine, moan and bitch) over his work and family. He probably looked upon me as a comfort, a reassuring constant that remains in this tumultuous, chaotic whirl of loss--and renewal. But now that everything seems fine, he's nowhere to be found. The least the creep could have done was send some flowers or something -- a note, email, text message, instant message… but no, nothing, nada! And there were "unmentionable" things he did too!

OK! So I tried to help, but he screwed me over! I should learn from it. I've got to wake up and smell the coffee here. When a pal does something hurtful to you, it can feel like your heart's been chewed up and spit out onto the pavement. It's tough when someone you thought was your friend pulls a fast one on you. Betrayal can launch you into an emotional tailspin. Your thoughts might range from, "Why would someone who supposedly cares about me do something so mean?" to "How dare he!" Of course, most of the time, it'll be big of you to (gulp!) forgive.

Recovering from any kind of betrayal is never easy. No matter what the issue once was, forgiveness is always a difficult -- but real -- part of friendships. Many people think that they must just let go of the past to move on. Along with causing grief and trepidation, that approach limits personal growth. Rather than hate a period of our life, the person we "used to be" or people we've met along the way, learn to find the way each experience helped us become strong. When we take this approach our entire life opens up and we begin to build bridges naturally. Then, each person we meet -- whether we like them or not -- becomes another bridge, a new way to deepen the love and understanding we become capable of.

But, then again, there are those rare instances when it's OK to say "See ya!" and times, when the friend's offense is more severe, it's definitely better -- even wiser -- to forget the so-called friendship. I was a doormat for too long- and I'm done being one!

What Makes a Confident Woman?

We all know these women who stride with an air of grace into a room. They’re not always the thinnest, prettiest, or smartest. They’re not arrogant.

A lot of things enhance the power of a woman: a sparking personality, quick wit, developed intellect, impeccable style… but above all, confidence is the best asset any woman could have. It can be one of her most powerful assets, all that other shit fades with time. Her confidence shows through everything. It speaks louder than her career, the shoes she wears, the places she travels, and sometimes even louder than the books she reads. It is reflected in the way she carries herself and the way she treats others.

So, what distinguishes a truly confident woman from one who is just trying too hard?

A confident woman holds high standards for who she allows in her life, both as friends and intimately. She knows her value and will not let anyone who drags her down into her circles. She does not settle for those who don’t deserve her time or attention. If someone brings drama or negativity to her life, she immediately realizes it’s time to cut them out, or at least lessen her time with them.

A confident woman recognizes herself and her talents as being unique and valuable. She utilizes her skills to advance herself in life and accomplish the goals she sets for herself. She does not to succumb to societal pressures of what she ‘should’ be like or ‘should do’ – she is her own person and not lose sight of her own worth just because someone else may not see it.

A confident woman is self-reliant and strives to learn new things. She grabs life by the horns every chance she gets. She fixes something that breaks in the house. A renaissance woman has no need to rely on anyone. She does not put herself in positions where she must be taken care of. She appreciates those who do things for her out of love because she knows it’s a sign they care for her, although she doesn't need them to. She does not let a man, or anyone, define her. A woman who relies on having a man in her life to define her self-worth will always be chasing after people, instead of realizing her value and letting them come to her.

A confident woman continues to be her loving, caring self, regardless of who appreciates it or who doesn’t. She is who she is because of her, not anyone else. If someone doesn’t value her, she understands it has more to do with them, and less to do with her. She does not let someone change her in this way. She does not allow herself to be changed by the actions of others. She is nice to others because of who she is, not because of who they are.

A confident woman is content with her own self-worth and the adoration of those who love her. She presents herself with cool, calm, and collected class. She does not feel the need to publicly compliment herself or chase after attention. She doesn’t need to seek validation from others in order to make her feel good about herself, and she understands the only true lasting confidence comes from within. And perhaps most of all, a confident woman knows what she wants.

A confident woman's purpose is to be authentically herself; no more, no less. When you start to applaud your fears, neuroses, and quirks, these qualities will suddenly become your best assets.

As for me, there's nothing that revives my confidence more than time alone. Wait, let me clarify that: time alone that I occupy with self-love. If I spend my alone time wallowing in misery, I perpetuate my insecurities. When I shower myself with love, I realign with my core values.

Know what you need to make this precious time with yourself the best time. There is nothing sexier than a woman who ADORES her own company.

Are you a confident woman or are you just trying too hard?

Anatomy of an Independent Woman

A card from months ago caught my attention this morning. It was from my niece and a part of it read "To the most independent woman I know..."

This got me thinking... many liken an independent woman to mystical, mythical creatures, a goddess even. But we are very real and loads of fun to get to know. We have strengths and weaknesses like everybody else, but can be very intimidating (as I've been often told!) This independence is, more often than not, my biggest enemy. It gets in the way of asking for help. I see it as a sign of weakness. Because of my I-can-do-it-on-my-own attitude, sometimes I may appear unapproachable. For this reason, I have a lot of acquaintances but very few close friends.  However, when you embrace my attitude of independence you will surely gain a close and loyal companion.

Our society teaches a young girl the importance of thinking for herself and making her own money, yet when she emerges into the real world as a strong, powerful, freethinking force — she instantly gets alienated. Society quickly lets her know opinionated girls are simply not welcome in this world. Our falsified sense of acceptance and fake open-mindedness is exceedingly dangerous. When we throw girls so many mixed messages at once, how can they possibly see the world clearly? We're instructing them to be self-assured, yet every pop culture song on the radio is a bubble gum blonde singing about how much she not only wants, but NEEDS a man. We're encouraging them to speak their glorious minds, and when they do, we tell them how radical and unlovable they are. We’re teaching them the importance of being self-sufficient, yet we still instruct them to marry only wealthy men.

An independent woman's confidence is not reliant on others, it comes from a far more powerful, stable place: within herself. An independent woman doesn't need you to tell her it's okay. She has her own set of rules that she penned herself with her own ink. She has the most powerful freedom of all, freedom of the mind. When your self-esteem is your own and isn’t dependent on shallow compliments or validation, it’s real confidence.

An independent woman attains independent thought. And you better believe she's not afraid of expressing her fresh perspective and well educated point-of-view either. She can not and will not be brainwashed into thinking or feeling a certain way, especially if it’s against her strong-willed code of ethics. She's got the genetics of a revolutionary and her morals are unbreakable. It’s not shaky and ever changing in time with the moods of those who surround her. An independent woman is not intimidated by the hierarchy. She knows she can hold her own anywhere, and that there is absolutely zero reason to be frightened unless in physical danger.

An independent woman is seen as a wildly intimidating creature, especially to those who use cheap fear tactics to gain respect, and understands that real authority is founded on respect, not through unkind actions and nasty words. She sees right through the mask of the token bitch. She's the kind that gives people anxiety when she enters a room. And that scares the shit out of people. An independent woman is so scary to the masses, because she really doesn't need anyone. Our society frightens women into needing it, as a means to control them.

An independent, outspoken, smart woman has accepted that not everyone is going to like her, and unlike a lot of women, that doesn’t throw her. She owns her thoughts, feelings and opinions with such a fierce intensity, that the endless stream of hate society bestows upon her simply isn’t enough to stop her from being her awesome, individual, authentic self.

Her feelings may get hurt from time to time, after all she’s not made from stone. She accepts not all feelings will be good, and she’s made peace with not being universally liked and approved of. She can’t help but be true to herself, despite the seemingly endless hurdles she has jumped through because of it.


While I may seem distant at times, I love to love. I love to follow Shakespeare’s advice "To thine own self be true." I know who I am and what I want. Don’t mistake my firmness for rudeness. I just know when to say “no” and when to move on. Do not be afraid to embrace my self-worth and appreciate my candid take on how I think I should be treated. As the divine independent woman, Mohadesa Najumi once said:

    "The woman who does not require validation from anyone is the most feared individual on the planet."

Confessions of a Tomboy

In case many don't know the definition of a tomboy, it's a girl who enjoys  rough, noisy activities traditionally associated with boys. Many may not believe it now, but I grew up a tomboy. When I was in grade school, I rocked jeans and t-shirts and rubber shoes. While other girls were learning to do their makeup and curl their hair (never really learned how to curl my hair. I just end up burning my fingers and putting creases in my hair that makes it look like I've had it in a ponytail all day long), I was learning how to handle a slingshot. When other girls were fixing their hair everyday for class, mine was thrown in a haphazard low ponytail. Dresses were the bane of my existence. I thought makeup was the weirdest thing ever and the only color I had on my face were my freckles splattered on my face from long days outside riding my bike (which my Daddy taught me how to ride.) or playing basketball with my brother.

My Mom tried to raise a pink-loving, ballet-dancing little girl. But my Daddy won  - I came out tougher than nails who does not take shit from anyone. Although my appearance changed, my personality didn’t. I have definitely left the tomboy fashion behind. I still don't love painting my nails because they are always chipped, but I do my hair every morning. Now, I'm always wearing light makeup, and I do love a good sun dress. I am still incapable of wearing tights without ripping a hole in them so I just avoid them altogether. So yes, I did grow out of my tomboy stage like most girls do, but there are still a few exceptions. Many would say I got my Daddy's tongue and temper. Sometimes my mouth could use a little filter. God shook His head the day He built me. Oh, but I bet you there was a big grin plastered on His face and my Daddy couldn't be prouder and wouldn't trade me for anything in the world!

Although society may try and tell you something different, you can absolutely be a tomboy and a girly girl. Pick your battles, choose your favorites and just be you. Be the girl that walks into church wearing a gorgeous periwinkle dress with your favorite old converse, because trust me, being confident in both roles is much better than forcing yourself into something you’re not.

Chubby Chic: Chunky But Classy

Left Photo Credits: Pinterest

Left Photo Credits: Pinterest

This is not for me to show off the clothes I have in my closet but more for empowering women, women who are on the heavier and shorter side, just like myself.  I have always been on the chunky side and recently have been the target of ridicule for my weight. I have decided to put a STOP to those mocking me for my weight (and height!). I have turned to Pinterest for some fashion inspiration. I am beautiful, no matter what you say!




My mantra: Find comfort and confidence in your best assets, no matter your body type; be it full figure, petite or somewhere in between. No matter what your size, fashion does not discriminate. All women should look beautiful and embrace what they love most.

Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. Every woman is beautiful, no matter what she looks like or what she wears or how her body is. Don't worry about that senseless stuff. It does not matter what anyone says, no matter how many mock or laugh at them, they continue to be themselves even if they are on their own. They don't change to get anyone to like them. They smile because they're happy and content with themselves. I think the most beautiful people in this world have the highest self confidence and self esteem no matter what their shapes and sizes. They also have a pretty girl swag and always stay fabulous with their gear, dress to impress and own the room when they enter.

No matter your size, no matter your weight, be confident in who you are and you'll be more beautiful than any beauty queen.

Left Photo Credits: Pinterest

My Baby is Now a Lady

Nicole had turned 19 and something suddenly came over me, like a sledgehammer. Our baby girl is officially an adult. :'(

I remember years ago, she was so little then, she was our little angel. Sometimes, I can't help but wish that she was small again. She isn't a child anymore, though in our eyes, I guess she will always be that baby girl and little angel who changed our lives and who means the world to me. I can't believe our baby is gone. I feel like I'm mourning a death. Like I've lost her. I want to physically hold on to her, hug her, tell her how much i love her. I do it all the time.

For me, she left her wings. The next few years will so quickly fly. She doesn't know how much joy she truly brings. She brightens up my days with her her infectious laughs. She reminds me of all the blessings that I have. She is my world. I have no other passions or interests that occupy any place in my life. She is my life, my sunshine. She brings with her a sweetness that doesn't end. She is the reason I always try my best.

I love you 'Bam.

My Cousins are Better Than Yours

As kids, your cousins are usually the first friends you have. The rare kind of friends who remain close to you for so many years. You lost your grandparents all at the same time. Welcomed baby cousins into the family together. Dealt with family crisis one after the other, all at the same time. No one will ever understand your crazy family like your cousins do.

You once spoke about your careers and jobs, marriages and children. Girl cousins talked about being each other’s bridesmaids. You talked about how your kids would grow up together and play together all the time, like you once did. Cousins are the ones celebrating with you at your highs. They are the ones mourning with you at your lows. And an unprecedented kind of companionship can only come from that. Now that time is slowly creeping up on you, you wish you could go back to just playing together when the whole family meets up for lunch on Sundays and during the holidays.

Now that everyone's grown up, you don't get to spend time with each other as much as you would want to, as you all have your own families to take care of. But when you do get to see each other again, these times are a lot more entertaining. My cousin Kenneth just came back from the UK for a short vacation. We met up and caught up with each other over the weekend when they came to our house for lunch. It was total chaos. We then went ahead to enjoy a night of music and the "feel-at-home" outdoor dining experience at The Outpost, along Veterans' Drive in Lahug.

The place is an old house turned resto bar and hang-out place for aspiring rock musicians. The place was pretty packed that night, both indoors (where the main stage was) and outdoors, with a veranda with a couple tables (that we occupied) overseeing the stage only. The bar is also known to support local popular Cebuano bands like Fastpitch and Urbandub. So, if you’re looking for a place to hang out, try the Outpost, for good music, relaxing ambiance and an interesting menu of local drinks and hang-out food (their Pork Sisig is to die for).

Good music and good food shared with good company, I couldn't think of any better way to end my week right. Because you’re more than just friends (you’re blood), the ties that bind you with your cousins are deep. The pride and loyalty you have for your family, fierce. While friends will be there for you when you call, cousins will show up just because there’s food.