This got me thinking... many liken an independent woman to mystical, mythical creatures, a goddess even. But we are very real and loads of fun to get to know. We have strengths and weaknesses like everybody else, but can be very intimidating (as I've been often told!) This independence is, more often than not, my biggest enemy. It gets in the way of asking for help. I see it as a sign of weakness. Because of my I-can-do-it-on-my-own attitude, sometimes I may appear unapproachable. For this reason, I have a lot of acquaintances but very few close friends. However, when you embrace my attitude of independence you will surely gain a close and loyal companion.
Our society teaches a young girl the importance of thinking for herself and making her own money, yet when she emerges into the real world as a strong, powerful, freethinking force — she instantly gets alienated. Society quickly lets her know opinionated girls are simply not welcome in this world. Our falsified sense of acceptance and fake open-mindedness is exceedingly dangerous. When we throw girls so many mixed messages at once, how can they possibly see the world clearly? We're instructing them to be self-assured, yet every pop culture song on the radio is a bubble gum blonde singing about how much she not only wants, but NEEDS a man. We're encouraging them to speak their glorious minds, and when they do, we tell them how radical and unlovable they are. We’re teaching them the importance of being self-sufficient, yet we still instruct them to marry only wealthy men.
An independent woman's confidence is not reliant on others, it comes from a far more powerful, stable place: within herself. An independent woman doesn't need you to tell her it's okay. She has her own set of rules that she penned herself with her own ink. She has the most powerful freedom of all, freedom of the mind. When your self-esteem is your own and isn’t dependent on shallow compliments or validation, it’s real confidence.
An independent woman attains independent thought. And you better believe she's not afraid of expressing her fresh perspective and well educated point-of-view either. She can not and will not be brainwashed into thinking or feeling a certain way, especially if it’s against her strong-willed code of ethics. She's got the genetics of a revolutionary and her morals are unbreakable. It’s not shaky and ever changing in time with the moods of those who surround her. An independent woman is not intimidated by the hierarchy. She knows she can hold her own anywhere, and that there is absolutely zero reason to be frightened unless in physical danger.
An independent woman is seen as a wildly intimidating creature, especially to those who use cheap fear tactics to gain respect, and understands that real authority is founded on respect, not through unkind actions and nasty words. She sees right through the mask of the token bitch. She's the kind that gives people anxiety when she enters a room. And that scares the shit out of people. An independent woman is so scary to the masses, because she really doesn't need anyone. Our society frightens women into needing it, as a means to control them.
An independent, outspoken, smart woman has accepted that not everyone is going to like her, and unlike a lot of women, that doesn’t throw her. She owns her thoughts, feelings and opinions with such a fierce intensity, that the endless stream of hate society bestows upon her simply isn’t enough to stop her from being her awesome, individual, authentic self.
Her feelings may get hurt from time to time, after all she’s not made from stone. She accepts not all feelings will be good, and she’s made peace with not being universally liked and approved of. She can’t help but be true to herself, despite the seemingly endless hurdles she has jumped through because of it.
While I may seem distant at times, I love to love. I love to follow Shakespeare’s advice "To thine own self be true." I know who I am and what I want. Don’t mistake my firmness for rudeness. I just know when to say “no” and when to move on. Do not be afraid to embrace my self-worth and appreciate my candid take on how I think I should be treated. As the divine independent woman, Mohadesa Najumi once said:
"The woman who does not require validation from anyone is the most feared individual on the planet."
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