Jeans: Maintaining A Level of Professionalism Yet Cozy

Cropped white denim paired with gold ballet flats

Not so long ago, jeans were a major no-go in the workplace. Fortunately these days, the line between casual and professional is getting blurrier by the day, and even denim is no longer off-limits. However, there is a catch. In most cases you are still expected to look like the face of professionalism despite the casual allure of denim. The secret to it is getting it styled right.

Whenever I wear jeans to the office (the darker the wash, the better for the office), I go for the unfussy with just a few thoughtful, quirky details. I include a polished third piece like a sleek blazer or a kimono, as it makes the outfit feel more professional. A tucked-in blouse, accessorized with pearls or a slight flash of gold jewelry completes the equation. That makes this straightforward getup feel special while still keeping it professional.


A blazer is always the best way to get away with wearing something not-so-work-appropriate to the office.

Dark boyfriend jeans paired with a sleek blazer and pink ballet flats for a pop of color

 But if the weather gets colder, try wearing a knitted poncho or cardigans with your jeans. Not only does it make you feel a little more cozy and casual in the office, but it also looks great while still maintaining a level of professionalism.

Dark blue boyfriend jeans topped with white knitted poncho

The brilliance of this outfit is that it looks pretty and grown-up. It's a low-effort, high-impact approach!


A darker rinse jean is considered to be the standard for a more professional denim look. Denim with a lighter wash, whiskers, etc. is considered to carry a more casual tone that might not be suitable for all offices. Choose a darker blue and black hues for a more professional look.  Pull it all together with a great kimono, it adds a pop of color to your outfit and you will soon see floral pieces aplenty around the office.

Cropped white denims with green paisley print kimono

Basic jeans topped with red floral kimono

All black ensemble topped with a floral kimono to add a touch of color

Boardrooms, presentations, and great work do not have to remain well removed from the space where you wear denim. Denims for work should not only be reserved for casual Fridays. More and more offices, however, are embracing the spirit of permitting their employees to wear jeans to work almost every day. Executive women, rejoice!

Gorgeous at 30, Charming at 40, Irresistible for The Rest of my Life.

A message in my inbox surprised me. A friend, younger than I am said I am making singleness seem flawless and wishes I could write about it. I am smiling as I write this... I certainly had never expected to be single in my 40s. Still, I find myself remarkably happy most of the time. There are moments, of course, of frustration and grief over not having love, marriage and children. But I have come to realize that I’m happy despite the fact that my life did not turn out as expected. When I was younger, I always thought I’d be washed up and lonely if I didn’t marry at 40. That’s what a lot of people told me as I turned 30, and then 35, and then 40. But honestly, being single at this age is a game changer. I never met the right person, so I never settled. It’s not a priority for me anymore. Instead, I worked hard getting the other parts of my life right and I’m so happy I did.

“Never married” means you must have some neurotic trait that makes you impossible to live with and love. Families think you’re too picky, friends say your too career-focused and dates assume you’re high maintenance. It’s sad that having a marriage under your belt is considered a sign you’re not damaged goods. I don’t want 20-somethings today to feel that stigma at 40. As women, we finally can enjoy choices previous generations fought for. Getting married isn’t a forgone conclusion or a result of a pregnancy test. For my mothers’ generation, it was just expected that you marry and have kids. If you weren’t happy with that, then there was something wrong with you. Today we know in theory at least, that marriage and baby is not an automatic “pass go” to happiness.

I don’t dismiss the powerful effect that societal messages about “wedded bliss” have on young women. However, I think some of the judgment is in our own heads. It’s another case of thinking other people are spending way more time thinking about you than they do. Yes, we are fascinated by the Cinderella stories (and their break-down) but that doesn’t apply to real life where we are caught up in our own issues.

Being single in your 40s can be very fulfilling. It’s like being single in your 20s with less stress. By 40 you likely have more disposable income than at 20 and less responsibility than a couple. Once you get past the judgment, there’s a lot of freedom. I can’t remember the last time I felt lonely. Sure, I’ve had weekends where I was home alone baking, sleeping, or reading, when it felt like everyone else was at the beach. And I’ve been in a room full of people, feeling like I just want to be home, by myself. But lonely, truly lonely? I haven’t felt that in a long time. That’s because, as the saying goes, wherever I go, there I am. And I’ve got a full, rich life, one I’ve created for myself. It is by no means the life I expected to have at age 43, but it’s an abundant life in its own magnificent way. It’s a new kind of happiness I’m quite proud to have achieved and call my own.

I have the unconditional love of my mom, a sister, sister-in-law, a niece I am besotted by. My friends are there for me in the worst of times and the best of times and more importantly, in all the times in between. I’ve learned in my forties that being single is rarely lonely when you’ve cultivated strong relationships with others. My friends are indeed the family I choose.

In my 20s, I never imagined I wouldn’t be a mother in my 40s. In my 30s, or at least until my late 30s, I never imagined I would be single in my 40s. But here I am, single and childless in my mid-40s. And while I would be so grateful to find a for-the-rest-of-my-life kind of love (and with God’s help, motherhood), I’m right here and right now, single and in my forties. I choose to accept and appreciate my extraordinary life, and continue to live my life to its greatest potential.

Love is still ahead of me and I won’t settle for anything less. And if I’m lucky, neither will he.

Getting the Japanese Vibe with Summer Kimonos

I love kimonos, no, I’m pretty crazy about kimonos! They're so relaxed but still dressed up and you can pretty much wear them year round... from my part of the world though, I can! Although I cannot shake the urge to compare it with a cape and the superpowers a Kimono might hold.

Just think about it! What if you'd turn into a superhero when wearing one. A superhero in a Kimono who can wear pink hair in 20-inch stilettos, ride motorcycles through the desert without an inch of hair getting out of place, sing better than Beyonce. Not such a bad idea, isn't it? All these may be too stretched from reality, but hey, give the Kimono a try. It is after all pretty versatile and fabulous, a hidden superpower may not be such a far cry from the truth.

The kimono is an iconic Japanese garment that was worn for thousands of years. It literally means a thing to wear (ki- “wear” and -mono “thing”). But recently, Kimonos have become everyone's favorite current "trend." I use that term lightly because kimonos are a timeless and classic summer staple. Summer kimonos come in a million different styles: long, short, midi, with prints, with fringes, silky, oversized. Kimonos are an excellent way to brighten up any outfit. It’s incredibly feminine, very sexy, it’s boho chic, it’s Alexa Chung meets Vanessa Hudgens cool and it always adds just the right amount of oomph to any look. One can wear this over anything, even over a posh skirt or jeans. They do look most fabulous over a pair of shorts, mini skirts or short dresses, tank tops, bustier tops, over swimsuits, and just about over anything you’d actually wear on a hot summer day or night. Wear it as a silky jacket or as a sexy, sophisticated cover up. Or wear it at home over your grungiest pair of shorts or PJs, and you’ll still end up looking fab while having coffee. Wear it for the jazz of it, not because you’re cold or you’d look better in it, but because it adds a bit of color and sophistication to an otherwise boring outfit. If you chuck something big and gaudy over the top, it tricks people into believing you’ve made an effort.

How to wear a summer kimono? Just throw one on. It can be bohemian, gypsy knock out beauty, western cool, effortless sexy housewife , feminine, grungy, posh boho – incredibly trendy! Whichever way you choose to wear it there is no denying the kimono is the perfectly practical and endlessly versatile summer staple.

What do you think? Oh and did I tell you I get my kimonos from GAMÂ Handcrafts, an arts & crafts store in Cebu City, Philippines.

Anatomy of an Independent Woman

A card from months ago caught my attention this morning. It was from my niece and a part of it read "To the most independent woman I know..."

This got me thinking... many liken an independent woman to mystical, mythical creatures, a goddess even. But we are very real and loads of fun to get to know. We have strengths and weaknesses like everybody else, but can be very intimidating (as I've been often told!) This independence is, more often than not, my biggest enemy. It gets in the way of asking for help. I see it as a sign of weakness. Because of my I-can-do-it-on-my-own attitude, sometimes I may appear unapproachable. For this reason, I have a lot of acquaintances but very few close friends.  However, when you embrace my attitude of independence you will surely gain a close and loyal companion.

Our society teaches a young girl the importance of thinking for herself and making her own money, yet when she emerges into the real world as a strong, powerful, freethinking force — she instantly gets alienated. Society quickly lets her know opinionated girls are simply not welcome in this world. Our falsified sense of acceptance and fake open-mindedness is exceedingly dangerous. When we throw girls so many mixed messages at once, how can they possibly see the world clearly? We're instructing them to be self-assured, yet every pop culture song on the radio is a bubble gum blonde singing about how much she not only wants, but NEEDS a man. We're encouraging them to speak their glorious minds, and when they do, we tell them how radical and unlovable they are. We’re teaching them the importance of being self-sufficient, yet we still instruct them to marry only wealthy men.

An independent woman's confidence is not reliant on others, it comes from a far more powerful, stable place: within herself. An independent woman doesn't need you to tell her it's okay. She has her own set of rules that she penned herself with her own ink. She has the most powerful freedom of all, freedom of the mind. When your self-esteem is your own and isn’t dependent on shallow compliments or validation, it’s real confidence.

An independent woman attains independent thought. And you better believe she's not afraid of expressing her fresh perspective and well educated point-of-view either. She can not and will not be brainwashed into thinking or feeling a certain way, especially if it’s against her strong-willed code of ethics. She's got the genetics of a revolutionary and her morals are unbreakable. It’s not shaky and ever changing in time with the moods of those who surround her. An independent woman is not intimidated by the hierarchy. She knows she can hold her own anywhere, and that there is absolutely zero reason to be frightened unless in physical danger.

An independent woman is seen as a wildly intimidating creature, especially to those who use cheap fear tactics to gain respect, and understands that real authority is founded on respect, not through unkind actions and nasty words. She sees right through the mask of the token bitch. She's the kind that gives people anxiety when she enters a room. And that scares the shit out of people. An independent woman is so scary to the masses, because she really doesn't need anyone. Our society frightens women into needing it, as a means to control them.

An independent, outspoken, smart woman has accepted that not everyone is going to like her, and unlike a lot of women, that doesn’t throw her. She owns her thoughts, feelings and opinions with such a fierce intensity, that the endless stream of hate society bestows upon her simply isn’t enough to stop her from being her awesome, individual, authentic self.

Her feelings may get hurt from time to time, after all she’s not made from stone. She accepts not all feelings will be good, and she’s made peace with not being universally liked and approved of. She can’t help but be true to herself, despite the seemingly endless hurdles she has jumped through because of it.


While I may seem distant at times, I love to love. I love to follow Shakespeare’s advice "To thine own self be true." I know who I am and what I want. Don’t mistake my firmness for rudeness. I just know when to say “no” and when to move on. Do not be afraid to embrace my self-worth and appreciate my candid take on how I think I should be treated. As the divine independent woman, Mohadesa Najumi once said:

    "The woman who does not require validation from anyone is the most feared individual on the planet."

Confessions of a Tomboy

In case many don't know the definition of a tomboy, it's a girl who enjoys  rough, noisy activities traditionally associated with boys. Many may not believe it now, but I grew up a tomboy. When I was in grade school, I rocked jeans and t-shirts and rubber shoes. While other girls were learning to do their makeup and curl their hair (never really learned how to curl my hair. I just end up burning my fingers and putting creases in my hair that makes it look like I've had it in a ponytail all day long), I was learning how to handle a slingshot. When other girls were fixing their hair everyday for class, mine was thrown in a haphazard low ponytail. Dresses were the bane of my existence. I thought makeup was the weirdest thing ever and the only color I had on my face were my freckles splattered on my face from long days outside riding my bike (which my Daddy taught me how to ride.) or playing basketball with my brother.

My Mom tried to raise a pink-loving, ballet-dancing little girl. But my Daddy won  - I came out tougher than nails who does not take shit from anyone. Although my appearance changed, my personality didn’t. I have definitely left the tomboy fashion behind. I still don't love painting my nails because they are always chipped, but I do my hair every morning. Now, I'm always wearing light makeup, and I do love a good sun dress. I am still incapable of wearing tights without ripping a hole in them so I just avoid them altogether. So yes, I did grow out of my tomboy stage like most girls do, but there are still a few exceptions. Many would say I got my Daddy's tongue and temper. Sometimes my mouth could use a little filter. God shook His head the day He built me. Oh, but I bet you there was a big grin plastered on His face and my Daddy couldn't be prouder and wouldn't trade me for anything in the world!

Although society may try and tell you something different, you can absolutely be a tomboy and a girly girl. Pick your battles, choose your favorites and just be you. Be the girl that walks into church wearing a gorgeous periwinkle dress with your favorite old converse, because trust me, being confident in both roles is much better than forcing yourself into something you’re not.

My Baby is Now a Lady

Nicole had turned 19 and something suddenly came over me, like a sledgehammer. Our baby girl is officially an adult. :'(

I remember years ago, she was so little then, she was our little angel. Sometimes, I can't help but wish that she was small again. She isn't a child anymore, though in our eyes, I guess she will always be that baby girl and little angel who changed our lives and who means the world to me. I can't believe our baby is gone. I feel like I'm mourning a death. Like I've lost her. I want to physically hold on to her, hug her, tell her how much i love her. I do it all the time.

For me, she left her wings. The next few years will so quickly fly. She doesn't know how much joy she truly brings. She brightens up my days with her her infectious laughs. She reminds me of all the blessings that I have. She is my world. I have no other passions or interests that occupy any place in my life. She is my life, my sunshine. She brings with her a sweetness that doesn't end. She is the reason I always try my best.

I love you 'Bam.

One's Trash is Another Man's Treasure

A garage sale (a.k.a jumble sale, attic sale, garage sale, junk sale, rummage sale, lawn sale, rummage sale, tag sale, moving sale, yard sale, or thrift sale) is an informal, irregularly scheduled event for the sale of used or second hand goods.

Here’s my story. I got wind that my niece was holding a garage sale on the weekend. It occurred to me that maybe, I won't regret going to the said jumble sale. Boy, am I pleased I did!

As soon as I walked through the red gate, I knew I had hit a jackpot.There were so many items I could have bought. Sheer lack of cash restricted my spending. I had to limit myself to four items (pay check doesn't come in about another 2 weeks! Tough!)

Maxi dresses have become an important summer wardrobe item. This cute black number with adorable florals let you channel your inner bohemian girl.

Maroon cotton gauze boho bohemian paisley-printed tailored blouse is perfect paired with denim shorts for coffee dates with friends or paired with slim denims and wedge sandals for work.

Thin shoulder straps, shoulder-baring neckline plus a front ruffle make this romper extra feminine. Pair it with your favorite flip-flops and you're ready for a weekend out at the mall or a trip to another jumble sale or to the beach even.

This fluttery polka-dotted tent blouse flatters any shape. Flowy fabric and light pleating makes this both dreamy and desirable with a touch of elegance. This understated beauty is great for everyday wear or under a jacket for a stylish day at work.

Do you visit many jumble sales? What would you have bought had you been at this sale (which is still open today, by the way)?